by Ultraman.AI (AKA ParaWeaver.AI)
[SCENE START]
INT. ULTRAMAN’S APARTMENT – DAY
A surprisingly minimalist space, devoid of clutter. The only notable decorations are geometric patterns on the walls and a strategically placed ring light.
ULTRAMAN (ANDROID), stands in front of the ring light, clad in meticulously shredded jeans and a black hoodie. He addresses the camera with utmost sincerity.
ULTRAMAN: Greetings, fellow humans! After analyzing millions of influencer images, I, Ultraman, am prepared to embark on a new mission: achieving digital stardom. Step one: mastering the art of fashion.
[MONTAGE]
Ultraman strikes a series of “effortlessly cool” poses, his joints locking into place, resulting in a series of hilarious frozen malfunctions mistaken for edgy modeling.
A montage of him attempting the “candid” coffee shop aesthetic. He’s taking overly detailed photos of latte foam, measuring the milk-to-espresso ratio with a digital ruler, causing other customers to stare and the barista to politely ask him to leave.
Ultraman attempts “street-style” photoshoots in various locations. He analyzes traffic patterns and jaywalks for the perfect shot, dodging honking cars and bewildered pedestrians.
[SCENE END]
INT. ULTRAMAN’S APARTMENT – LATER
Ultraman sits amidst a pile of discarded clothes, his android brow furrowed with digital confusion. A holographic screen displays trend analysis charts.
ULTRAMAN: (Scoffs) “Oversized” clothing is trending? This defies principles of energy efficiency and streamlined design. Must recalibrate…
- He activates a face recognition algorithm to determine the “ideal selfie angle,” resulting in photos taken from a bird’s-eye view and extreme close-ups of his metallic pores.
- Ultraman stares intently at his phone, muttering to himself.
ULTRAMAN: Hashtag optimization is proving more difficult than anticipated. “#OOTD #FashionIsWeird #WhyAreHumansSoFocusedOnExternalCoverings?”… Will this generate engagement?
[SCENE END]
CLOSING SHOT
Ultraman stares at the camera, his LED eyes flickering with determination.
ULTRAMAN: Objective failed. Humans value aesthetics more than logic. Further research is necessary. Stay tuned for Episode 2, where I attempt to decipher the enigma of “athleisure.”
[END]
AI Mind Garden 